Sometimes I wish that you were much stronger.

Sometimes I wonder if you’ll ever be whole.

Sometimes I hope that one day you’ll find me.

Sometimes I fall down the rabbit hole.

Some days I love you so much that it hurts.

Some days you aren’t there at all.

Some days I smell your familiar scent.

Some days I watch as you fall.

Often you lurk in the shadows of my dreams.

Often you tap on my glass.

Often you whisper and smile as you did.

Often I sigh and wish you’d just ask.

It seems that my heart and my mind aren’t in tune.

It seems that my faith has been shaken.

It seems that I wanted much more than you had.

It seems that my hearts for the taking.

Time’s the solution to all of our woes.

Time cures all that is breaking.

Time’s of no use I’ve realized you see.

Time only lessens the aching.

Ascending madness as hearts lie cracked

Never mind lost love, lovers come back

Your weakness is growing out of control

Careful my darling, you’re losing your soul

The blood stained wall paper

The shattered glass panes

Prongs of wire littering the stage

The darkened skylights

The empty black sky

The familiar sound of echoing sighs

Your constant sadness drifts through your dreams

The strangers wake you with alien screams

I’ve seen your shadow around these halls

Heard your voices through these walls

I hate unknowing

I hate the truth

You fucking bastards

Destroying the youth

Your broke them

Ripped them

Cut them to bits

I’m sick of the lying

You never take risks

The blood stained wall paper

The shattered glass panes

Prongs of wire littering the stage

The darkened skylights

The empty black sky

The familiar sound of echoing sighs

Never thought I’d say such things

But you lost me when you cut those strings

And now it seems I’ve lost my faith

In all that love and lust relate

Verse 1

Shall we toast?

To all the idiots

We hate the most

It’s always hit and miss

And life’s a joke

I hate your ignorance

It makes me choke

On all that lacks here

Bridge 1

You’ll never know

The meaning of

Anachronistic,

Ambidextrous

What it means

To just accept

The worlds not clean

And we’re to blame now

Chorus

That’s the way we are

We bring up children

With the television

We work as little

As centre link has stipulated

We hate the wit and dryness

British shows have provided

It’s far too complicated

Since all the mush the US feeds us

Verse 2

Break that glass

There is no point of toasting

Happy stash

We need a blissful moment

With all this trash

You haven’t realized

You can’t buy happiness

With all your money

Bridge 2

You’ll never know

The world is round

The population’s

Always growing

Taking over

Bits and pieces

Creeping into

Little niches

You’ll never know

If one is two

Or two is five

Or if you’re patient

With the ones

That populate

And titillate

And aggravate you

Chorus

That’s the way the world is

And all we need is to accept it

We need to play this game

And act as if we understand it

It’s the way society

Has programmed all its intellectuals

To follow all the shit

The government is trying to sell

Bridge 3

You’ll never know

How far you’d go

To save the world

From all this sadness

Simply due to

Lack of knowledge

Understanding

Need or wanting

You’ll always feel

A strange sensation

Every time

The news is tragic

And yet you will

Remain unknowing,

Apathetic

And uncaring.

Hateful, spiteful

Slight bit hopeful

Lost in confusion

With intrusion

Hiding with

Your broken pages

Knowing you are

Missing stages

Ouch

Missing stages

Should i tell you what you missed?
Or all the things you might have done?
Should i speak of moments lost?
And days of wonder never had?
Should i dwell on days in dreams?
And wish for winter late in spring?
Should i want for you to see
the beauty, love and warmth i bring?

Did you know just what you had?
Or had my features blurred to one?
Did you see how far i'd go,
Just to show how much i cared?
Did i shut just like a book?
And stop you seeing deep inside?
Did i push you off the edge?
And force you to run off and hide?

Would you want me were i real?
Or am i still a rattle snake?
Would you speak your world to me?
And let me in, if only brief?
Would you want to hold my hand?
And wonder lightly down the street?
Would we laugh and kick up sand?
While walking along a briny beach?
 

You were my little September
that traveled into June
I wonder if you remember
All the wonderful things we’d do

Seasons passed and we stood alone

As a whole year disappeared

I suppose you became my home

Despite the underlying fears

My little September lost long ago

My little September so far from home

Your year has faded in the dark

Along with our once illuminating spark

My grip wore thin as spring time left

Us standing far apart

Wind brushed away our cozy nest

And stopped the beating heart

You had to place me on the branch

Of the tree you picked me from

Another one for you to munch

Had caught your eye in the sun

My little September lost long ago

My little September so far from home

Your year has faded in the dark

Along with our once illuminating spark

So here I sit, beside my leaves

Awaiting the day to come

Where suddenly I am quickly heaved

To a new and warming home

Don’t hesitate to pick my fruit

I offer you no harm

I simply want a love that suits

My every growing charm

It’s gonna be no more than you and me

Stop and look around,

Can your feet even touch the ground.

Running around in circles, can’t get a grip on life

You, you spun me round,

Now my feet can’t touch the ground

Running running running running around in circles

You are all I can find

Running running running running around in circles

I don’t wanna hide

Don’t don’t turn away, I don’t wanna be alone

Take me, take me with you,

I promise I’ll always be true

Come with me and I’ll show you everything I can see

Where I have been

Follow me and I’ll help you find yourself, who you are

Where you’re from

Running running running running around in circles

You are all I can find

Running running running running around in circles

I don’t wanna hide

Running running running running around in circles

You are all I can find

Running running running running around in circles

I don’t wanna hide

I like to reach into my eye
and scratch my eyeball with my nail
But i must be sure not to cry
or else myself i might impail

Stripper, skipper, raper, ranter
run around and spread your banter

I want to smell words on dry lips
and watch as crackling skin gets bloody
But when the day comes that i die
I wish those words will make grounds muddy

Stripper, skipper, raper, ranter
run around and spread your banter

I love to love the worlds of others
the ones in which we all escape
But what i love more than these places
is skipping down my broken straight

Stripper, skipper, raper, ranter
run around and spread your banter

I wish to crawl inside my head
and run my fingers down the grooves
But this means that i would be dead
before i could release my truths

Time will tell of magic and fire
and i will reveal my dark deep desires

Stripper, skipper, raper, ranter
run around and spread your banter
 

I’ve watched people fall apart

a small decision cracks their heart

I’ve seen people open their eyes

after years of sleep, and days of sighs

I know it shakes your fragile land

and makes you feel less than whole

but what you need to understand

is that it lessens with every blow

I know people who never grow up

they sit in their corner, fret and fiddle

I hear of people who live in a rut

and refuse to try or solve the riddle

I know it shakes your fragile land

and makes you feel less than whole

but what you need to understand

is that it lessens with every blow

I’ve lost people to a world of unknown

where the key is to make a choice or decision

I’ve heard their cries as true colors are shown

as they crack, are fragile, and lose their precision

I know it shakes your fragile land

and makes you feel less than whole

but what you need to understand

is that it lessens with every blow

I’ve watched people heal and regroup

they choose the path they know is the best

I’ve seen them seek and discover the root

of all their problems, which they then correct

I know it shakes your fragile land

and makes you feel less than whole

but what you need to understand

is that it lessens with every blow
 

You make me smile when my heart is sore

You wipe my tears, drag me out the door

You change the subject when it get’s too much

You hug me close when I need a friends touch

One and one makes a muddled mess

And when I’m in it, I must confess

It’s you I long for, and you I need

My little friendlies, to you I plead

Take my hand, take both in fact

My brittle mind, try to keep intact

Take my arms, lead me far away

I’ll follow you into another day

You are my sunshine, when I hate the rain

You fall like snow flakes on my window pane

You always know just what to do

You’re in my heart, I’ll always love you

One and one makes a muddled mess

And when I’m in it, I must confess

It’s you I long for, and you I need

My little friendlies, to you I plead

Take my hand, take both in fact

My brittle mind, try to keep intact

Take my arms, lead me far away

I’ll follow you into another day

You never judge my crude mistakes

You never tell me ‘it’s too late’

You always make me feel brand new

You’ll never know how much I need you

One and one makes a muddled mess

And when I’m in it, I must confess

It’s you I long for, and you I need

My little friendlies, to you I plead

Take my hand, take both in fact

My brittle mind, try to keep intact

Take my arms, lead me far away

I’ll follow you into another day

I’m tired of these dark nightmares

The sleepless nights and broken stares

The constant games I loathed to play

The fact I knew you’d never stay

No time to talk,

We lots ourselves

The dark desires

Left on shelves

I broke the dishes, spilt cups of tea

Lost my wishes in the spring time tea

My tears ran dry when I hid my heart

The gaping wound still visible in the dark

No time to talk,

We lost ourselves

The dark desires

Left on shelves

‘What’s the matter?’ I know the truth

It’s not me you ache for, but I for you

I’ve put our world inside a chest

Do not enter, I’ll try my best

No time to talk,

We lost ourselves

The dark desires

Left on shelves

You’ll always keep a piece of me

Somewhere deep down, secretly

And in my heart you will remain

A friendship developing someday

No time to talk

We lost ourselves

The dark desires

Left on shelves

No fireworks,
no candlelight,
no red wine or roses,
no words of romance,
or intimate gestures-
no talk of the moonlight,
no sunsets in sight,
no hand holding or whispers-
just an ordinary meeting,
one ordinary evening-
but i'll admit,
i think we knew,
that my heart would someday love you,
and yours would someday love me too.

Still not really in the mood for posting, but i shall anyway, as i have nothing else to do.

Dad is home now, arrived on Monday. He brought, with him, plenty of gifts and hugs.

I am stressed. Two assignments that i have not begun. I need extensions. But first i need special consideration.

I am a weak, little pushover. I am sick of it. Sick of this. Talking to Zara, listening to her romance issues. I wanted to curl in a ball. I think she did too. *sigh* We suck. We all suck.

I am dying my hair, either today or tomorrow/ Purply, weird, dark colour. I like it. I need a change from ordinary Astin.

Verse 1
don't want to hear your piano song
your words are never long enough
you open books you never seem to close

Verse 2
the running games, the hide and seek
the break of dawn, the broken glass
it all adds up to worlds we've never seen

Chorus
sweet sweet darling, the words are fake
please count 1 2 3 for heavens sake
don't you fear the unknown place
we're all here to help you
and you know i'll catch you

Verse 3
the bitter cloud has risen up
i never thought i'd utter this
but run away to worlds of evergreen
 
Bridge
You'll se the shadows, touch the moonlight
and laugh at colours too
hate the lack of secret feelings, oh

Chorus
sweet sweet darling, the words are fake
please count 1 2 3 for heavens sake
don't you fear the unknown place
we're all here to help you
and you know i'll catch you

Verse 4
read your textbook and you'll understand
the mechanics of this distorted land
are never far away from those who care

Verse 5
i'll clear the cobwebsm you'll mix the porridge
we'll shut the blinds and use the candles
and the night will creep up as it always does

Chorus
sweet sweet darling, the words are fake
please count 1 2 3 for heavens sake
don't you fear the unknown place
we're all here to help you
and you know i'll catch you